You Shouldn't Kiss Me Like This
by Rei Firestar
Summary: (Sorry all, had to repost the fic) Another Sakura/Tomoyo depressing fic. I don't know if this qualifies as a songfic, but the song does make an appearance. PG for same-sex themes.


Allo, minna. Sorry for the inconvenience, put I had to repost. Sorry if it kinda skips around a bit, but I'm trying to bring out the main points more than the details.  
  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own the song or characters. I got 20 bucks though..  
  
  
You Shouldn't Kiss Me Like This  
By: Rei_Firestar  
  
  
Tomoyo took a deep breath and headed toward Sakura's door, overnight bag in hand. She was so happy that she could stay the night at Sakura's while her mother left town on a business trip. Touya was spending the week with Yukito out of town, which meant Sakura would be spared of his teasing for the night. Thank God for small favors.  
  
Tomoyo rang the doorbell and waited paitently for the door to open. She heard her limousine pull off behind her, but didn't bother to look back at it. She pulled a lock of her hair behind her ear as the door swung open, revealing her beloved Sakura-chan.  
  
Sakura had known for months now of Tomoyo's love toward her, but never returned the affection. Sakura had been, and still was, madly in love with Syaoran. They had gone out for a while beforehand, but not for long. Syaoran discovered that he actually held feelings, deep ones, for Meiling, and chose her instead. Sakura had been devistated. Tomoyo had known what was going to happen and when, and made sure she could be there for Sakura when he told her. She held Sakura for hours that night, just letting her cry. It had been both of their more painful moments. But even after that, Sakura loved Syaoran, which meant Tomoyo would never have a chance.  
  
"Hi, Tomoyo-chan," Sakura said as she opened the door wider. Tomoyo entered with a small smile and a quiet thank you. "You can go ahead and put your stuff in my room if you want. I have to go tell Otosan goodnight."  
  
"Isn't it a little early? It's only 9:00."  
  
"He has to get up early in the morning. He has a few errands to run before lunch."  
  
"Oh, I see."  
  
"I'll be back."  
  
Sakura left toward the kitchen. Tomoyo headed toward Sakura's room and set her things down inside. Sakura came in behind her.  
  
"I'm glad you got to spend the night, Tomoyo-chan."  
  
"Me too," Tomoyo responded with a smile. Sakura sat down on her bed.  
  
"What do you want to do?"  
  
Tomoyo suddenly sported an impish grin, which normally wasn't like her. Before Sakura knew it, she was being tickled madly. She let out a small scream and tried to wiggle away, all the time trying to tickle her friend back. These "tickle wars" they called them were becoming a more popular way for the two to pass the time. It wasn't long before they were both out of breath and lying down on the bed. They were still laughing.  
  
Once they were relatively calmed down, they turned onto their sides so that they were facing one another. Sakura put her arm around Tomoyo's waist, prompting Tomoyo to do the same. As the two locked eyes, Tomoyo smiled. She gently brought her hand up to her friend's face and ran her fingers across Sakura's cheek. Sakura closed her eyes and seemed to relax. Tomoyo kissed her temple. It wasn't rare for Tomoyo to kiss Sakura anymore, but she never dared kiss her friend's lips. It was always her cheek, her forehead, maybe her shoulder if she came up behind her, but never a meaningful kiss on the lips. That's why what Tomoyo did next was against her better judgement. She leaned down and gently touched her lips to Sakura's. It wasn't really a kiss, per say, and of course Sakura didn't return it. Tomoyo leaned back up, ready to apologize, but Sakura said nothing. Tomoyo half wondered if Sakura was even awake, but didn't really care either way.  
  
Shortly after, as Tomoyo reluctantly pulled away from her friend's embrace, Sakura stirred. She sat up, her hand instinctively going to the corner of her mouth and wiping at it slightly. Tomoyo smiled to herself. Sakura HAD been asleep. She wondered a little if that had been a good thing, but in the end figured that it was because Sakura wouldn't say anything about the "kiss" Tomoyo gave her.  
  
"I'm bored," Sakura stated. Tomoyo nodded in agreement. "Want to go do something? Maybe play a board game?"  
  
"Sure thing, Sakura-chan."  
  
The two got up and headed out of the room in search of something to do. It was about a 2:30 when they made their way back to Sakura's room. Tomoyo could tell Sakura was tired, and admitted to herself that she was too. They both lay down on Sakura's bed, drifting in and out of sleep.  
  
About half an hour later, Tomoyo awoke to discover the oddest thing. Someone was kissing her. She wanted to open her eyes and see who it was, but couldn't bring herself to do so. So she did the natural thing - she returned it. Slightly into the kiss, she managed to open her eyes. It was very dark in the room, but she could still make out the sillouette.  
  
Sakura-chan!?  
  
By the time the kiss was over, Tomoyo was nearly wide awake, but by that point, she couldn't tell if it had been a dream that she had just awaken from or if it had been real. She turned toward the wall and let her thoughts wander over it, butterflies murdering her stomach. She felt the bed move next to her, so she looked over at Sakura. She was heading toward the bathroom. Tomoyo shrugged a little and turned back toward Sakura's side of the bed, wondering if she should ask Sakura if she had been dreaming or not. She figured it was since she had that kind of dream so many nights, but still made up her mind to ask her friend when she returned.  
  
When Sakura came back into the room, Tomoyo leaned up slightly in the bed. She kept her gaze away, knowing that if it had been a dream she was in for some major mortification.  
  
"This might sound a little weird," she started, "and I'm sure that if I /was/ dreaming that I'm about to be extremely embarrassed, but...did we just kiss?"  
  
Sakura stayed silent until she was back in the bed. Then she quietly answered, "Yeah."  
  
Tomoyo nearly died of shock. She and her Sakura-chan just shared a kiss!? Did this mean Sakura wasn't asleep when she kissed her earlier? She smiled widely and lay back down on her side, still facing Sakura.  
  
"I didn't know if it was a dream or not," she stated. "I've dreamed of that so many times that I wasn't so sure."  
  
Tomoyo's thoughts went back to Sakura's feelings for Syaoran and she began to feel sick, as well as remorseful.  
  
"I'm sorry," Tomoyo whispered.   
  
"I started it," Sakura whispered back. Suddenly Tomoyo wanted to know why. Maybe she had asked aloud, she wasn't sure, but Sakura gave her the answer. "I just want you to be happy," she whispered.  
  
Tomoyo put her hand to her friend's cheek and looked into her eyes the best she could in the limited lighting. "I don't want you to sacrifice anything for me, okay?" she asked in a whisper as she gently kissed Sakura's forehead. It was true. Tomoyo /didn't/ want her Sakura-chan to sacrifice anything for her, including her sexuality, unless she honestly wanted to love her. She heard Sakura whisper "okay" and she smiled. She took her hand away from her friend's face and turned onto her back. Maybe Sakura didn't love her, but she at least cared enough to kiss her. That alone made Tomoyo happy enough to fall back asleep.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Tomoyo groaned slightly as she opened her eyes. Light shone through Sakura's window that was bright enough to blind someone. Tomoyo looked at the clock. It was only 9:30. She muttered something you wouldn't think someone like Tomoyo would say and closed her eyes again, not in the mood to pull herself out of bed. Thoughts of only a few hours earlier came back to her and she smiled again. She began to wonder if it was healthy to be so happy, but fell asleep again before she came to her conclusion.  
  
For an hour, Tomoyo drifted in and out of sleep before she finally got out of bed. She headed into Sakura's bathroom to change and brush her teeth. When she came back out, she was brushing her hair. She looked over at Sakura as she put her things back into her bag. Sakura was just waking up it seemed.  
  
"Good morning, Sakura-chan," Tomoyo greeted. Sakura nodded a little and rubbed her eyes. Tomoyo came over and sat next to her on the bed.  
  
"I don't feel like getting up," Sakura muttered sleepily. Tomoyo smiled and replied, "Then don't." The idea seemed appealing to her, but Sakura finally crawled out of bed and headed to the bathroom to change as well. When she came back out, she flopped back down on the bed with a slight thud. Tomoyo giggled. Sakura grinned then suddenly lashed out, beginning the next of their tickle wars. It lasted about as long as they normally do, and they again ended up lying next to each other on the bed. A feeling of deja vu overcame Tomoyo as she again found herself running her fingertips over her friend's cheek. Sakura had her eyes closed again.  
  
'Might as well play it out,' Tomoyo thought to herself. She knew it was just an excuse, but she didn't care. She leaned down and placed her lips against Sakura's. It wasn't a deep or extremely passionate kiss, but she couldn't help but smile when, this time, Sakura returned it.  
  
The two shot apart faster than any lightning bolt when they heard Sakura's bedroom door open. Fujitaka stood there with a small smile on his face. He didn't suspect, did he? Tomoyo hoped not, especially after the relationship her mother and his wife had.  
  
"Sakura, do you think you could come make lunch? I've still got a few things to do this morning."  
  
"Yes sir," she responded and got up. Tomoyo followed. Fujitaka smiled at them and left. The two girls barely looked at one another as they headed downstairs.  
  
After lunch, Sakura headed into the study with Tomoyo close behind her.  
  
"What are we doing, Sakura-chan?"  
  
"I need to check on something," she responded as she sat down at the computer. Tomoyo pulled up a chair and watched as Sakura got onto the internet and proceeded to check her e-mail. A small chat window suddenly popped up. The message was very affectionate.  
  
"Takashi," Sakura groaned. Tomoyo looked at her, but knew she didn't have to ask. Sakura had yet another admirer, which meant three for certain (since Tomoyo already knew about Rui).  
  
Not extremely far into the conversation, Tomoyo couldn't take it much more. She got up and headed toward Sakura's room. She had to get away.  
  
"Where are you going?" Sakura called after her. Tomoyo stopped and looked back at her. "I'll be back," she answered and continued toward Sakura's room. She sat down on the bed and sighed.  
  
"Hey there," she heard a voice say. It startled her. She looked over at the window. It was now open, and Kero was standing on the sill. "Oh, hi Kero-chan," Tomoyo responded.  
  
"What are you doing here?"  
  
"I spent the night last night."  
  
"Oh, really? That's nice."  
  
"Yes, I suppose. Where were you?"  
  
"Oh, you know, just out and about," he said as he flew over to Sakura's stereo. He flipped it on, but had it turned down low.  
  
"And the winner of today's free strawberry cake is.."  
  
Tomoyo saw the look in Kero's eyes. So /that's/ where he had been. He had entered in some contest! That sounded like him.  
  
"Sho Aikawa."  
  
Kero growled. Tomoyo giggled.  
  
"Aww I'll bake you a cake later."  
  
"Yeah! Cake!"  
  
Tomoyo giggled again as Sakura entered the room.  
  
"I was wondering where you went," she said. Tomoyo smiled a little. "I came up here to get something, but Kero came by and I was talking to him."  
  
"Yeah, but now I'm leaving. I have another contest to enter. Bye you two!" He flew out through the window, leaving Tomoyo in yet another fit of giggles. Sakura looked at her. Tomoyo shook her head. Sakura took the hint and just didn't ask. She went and closed the window then sat down next to Tomoyo. Tomoyo felt another of her depression fits coming on. She had been having them for about two weeks or more now. It must've shown on her face, because Sakura wrapped her arms around her. She drew her knees to her chest and rested her forehead against her right knee. She closed her eyes and did her best not to cry. She didn't ever want to cry in front of Sakura.  
  
Once she seemed to calm down, Sakura took her arms away. Tomoyo stated quietly, "I need something to take my mind off of my depression." She thought she heard Sakura respond, but wasn't really sure. An idea struck Tomoyo. She had a way to get her mind off of things. She reached over and began yet another tickle war. (Hey, I wasn't kidding when I said that was one main way for them to cure their boredom.)  
  
After it was over, Tomoyo was lying on her back with Sakura looking down at her. Their eyes met and Tomoyo became hypnotized by her beautiful friend's eyes. She leaned up on her arms so that she and Sakura's faces were only inches away. They embraced one another, Tomoyo only using one arm to hold her friend since she was supporting herself with the other. She kissed the girl's neck and shoulder, then once or twice on her jawline. Tomoyo leaned back a little to continue gazing into Sakura's lovely eyes, and smiled. Sakura smiled back. Tomoyo leaned in further, as did Sakura, until their lips met. Tomoyo's eyes fell closed as she enjoyed the feeling of having the person she loved more than anyone else show her true love. This kiss wasn't like the others. This one held a little more intensity, and it lasted longer. When they finally pulled away, Tomoyo could feel her heart pounding in her chest as well as the butterflies in her stomach that she actually enjoyed.  
  
Tomoyo knew right then that she could never love another person more than she did Sakura.  
  
Fujitaka and his wonderful timing appeared again, however this time it was only a knock on the door.  
  
"Sakura, get ready. You have cheerleading practice. We're going to take Tomoyo home in half an hour."  
  
"Okay!" Sakura called to him.  
  
As she stood up, Tomoyo suddenly started laughing. The laugh wasn't completely joyous. In fact, it was a little bit sad. Sakura turned to her.  
  
"Why are you laughing?"  
  
"The song on the radio."  
  
Sakura turned up her stereo.  
  
~~~I got a funny feeling  
The moment that your lips touched mine  
Something shot right through me  
My heart skipped a beat in time  
  
There's a different feel about you tonight  
It's got me thinkin' lots of crazy things  
I even think I saw a flash of light  
It felt like electricity  
  
You shouldn't kiss me like this  
Unless you mean it like that  
Cause I'll just close my eyes  
And I won't know where I'm at  
We'll get lost on this dance floor  
Spinnin' around  
And around  
And around  
And around  
  
They're all watchin' us now  
They think we're falling in love  
They'd never believe we're just friends  
When you kiss me like this  
I think you mean it like that  
If you do maybe kiss me again  
  
Everybody swears we make the perfect pair  
But dancing is as far as it goes  
Girl you've never moved me quite  
The way you moved me tonight  
I just wanted you to know  
I just wanted you to know  
  
You shouldn't kiss me like this  
Unless you mean it like that  
Cause I'll just close my eyes  
And I won't know where I'm at  
We'll get lost on this dance floor  
Spinnin' around  
And around  
And around  
And around  
  
They're all watchin' us now  
They think we're falling in love  
They'd never believe we're just friends  
When you kiss me like this  
I think you mean it like that  
If you do baby kiss me again  
Kiss me again~~~  
  
  
Sakura didn't do anything. She just headed into the bathroom to change for cheerleading practice. Tomoyo sighed slightly.  
  
When Sakura came back out, she lay down on the bed. They had five minutes to spare. Tomoyo lay next to her and wrapped an arm around her waist.  
  
That's when the radio betrayed them.  
  
The song that always made Sakura think of Syaoran came on.  
  
Tomoyo closed her eyes briefly, cursing to herself. When she opened them, she looked back to Sakura. She was tense. She was trying not to cry. Tomoyo kissed her temple. If anything, she made it worse. She didn't know why she said it, but Tomoyo suddenly stated the obvious.  
  
"You're thinking about him." Sakura nodded. "Do you want me to leave?" Tomoyo asked in a whisper. Sakura shook her head. Tomoyo tightened her embrace slightly and held her. "He doesn't know what he's missing," Tomoyo whispered. Sakura turned her head away, which meant she was crying and didn't want Tomoyo to see. "I know what he's mising," Tomoyo continued, "because I love you." She had to blink back tears. "Look at me?" Tomoyo asked. Sakura shook her head.  
  
Damn Fujitaka's timing.  
  
"Sakura!" he called from downstairs. "Let's go!"  
  
Sakura got up slowly. "Look at me?" Tomoyo asked again. She did. Every word Tomoyo wanted to say died in her mouth. All she could do was wipe away the tears.  
  
Sakura turned away and began to gather a few things as Tomoyo slipped on her shoes. A sickening feeling hit Tomoyo suddenly.  
  
"Sakura-chan?"  
  
"Nani?"  
  
"Tell me the truth. Every kiss," Tomoyo stopped as her voice broke. She was thankful when Sakura didn't seem to notice. "Every kiss we shared, you thought about him. Didn't you..?"  
  
Tomoyo's heart shattered when Sakura nodded.  
  
Tomoyo couldn't form any words. She just told herself that she had already known it was true, and shouldn't have gotten her hopes up like that - that she had asked for the truth, and it was given to her.  
  
Tomoyo grabbed her bag and they headed downstairs. Fujitaka took her home. The ride was relatively silent.  
  
When Fujitaka pulled into Tomoyo's driveway, Sakura reached over and hugged Tomoyo goodbye.  
  
"I'm glad you got to spend the night," she said.  
  
"Me too," Tomoyo responded loud enough for Fujitaka to hear. She then lowered her voice and said, "I'm sorry about the whole...kissing thing, but thanks for putting up with it all the same. But now I have to make a mental note not to be around you so much," Tomoyo added, which was very un-Tomoyo-like, "since all I seem to do is hurt you."  
  
Tomoyo raised her voice again, cutting off what Sakura was trying to tell her.  
  
"Thanks for the ride. Goodbye!"  
  
She closed the door and headed into her house. She went straight to her room, fell onto her bed, and cried herself to sleep.  
  
  
~*The End*~  
  
  
My my, how depressing. Skipped around a lot, sorry for that, but like I previously stated, I was groping for main points rather than details. Thanks for reading! Ja ne, and God Bless! 


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